I really just feel like punching him right now. I hate it! I HATE IT! I hate how he's ignoring me! We have different opinions. He's religious I'm not. He's republican, I'm not. He hates gays, I don't. I love old music, he thinks it's stupid. I didn't care, but his blunt responses, without listening to a word I was saying, AUGH, it just pisses me off so freaking much now!!
NOTE: You can pretty much just skip to the end where I'm asking for advice if you really want. I wouldn't be offended. The next paragraph is just me bitching about him.
You know what? I'm terrified of needles. You know how hard it is for me to sew something without being terrified? It's impossible. I was terrified of stabbing myself with it the entire time. I have nightmares about being stabbed by thousands of needles. Sewing made it worse. He knew that. I'd told him this.
And yet, when I built up the courage to sew him something, I decided to sew him a hat, and mittens and make him a scarf. He didn't have any snow-gear and we had a blizzard that was going to hit. I pricked my fingers all over and I bled a lot. I actually cried at one point later because guess what, after I had put everything away I stepped on a needle. (didn't go straight in because I stepped on it on an angle) I had it bandaged under my sock for over a week. Not that he noticed. It was because I was afraid he would get an earache, because the winds are so harsh here in winter, and were even worse this winter. I loved him very much so I made it for him and gave it to him happily, telling myself, "He'll be grateful. Then I can bother him about how I hurt my foot, i can joke about it. This way he won't get an earache like I did. I can also proudly tell him I made it even though I don't like needles. I can boast to him about how it's hand sewn and show him the straight stitches. I can tease him about how funny he looks wearing it, even though I made it." But you know what he did? Nothing. He never wore it. Not even the scarf. It's not like it was a girly pattern. It was brown and black houndstooth or something like that. But no. He never wore it. Not once.
He's always ignoring me. He hasn't texted me for over a week. Last time I talked to him was on facebook. but you know what? All he did was say "How are you?" and then barely 5 minutes later he signed off.
Whenever he texts me that's all he does. One word answers.
I am so sick of being used! I'm his girlfriend, not just some random girl! And yet he ignores me, like I'm nobody, like we have no memories together. And the truth is, the ones we have aren't even that good. Just a few giggles. Arguing playfully a few times, an awkward first kiss. ( I missed his face... lolwut.)
I hate this. I hate not being really loved. I hate it, I hate it. This isn't love. He says "I love you" and I say it back. I don't mean it anymore and it's killing me inside to say it to him when I don't love him. Not anymore.
I don't know how to break it off. We've dated for so long it might come as a shock to him. I am so sick of it. We don't even get together anymore, unless I just go to his house where he awkwardly introduces me to his family then we spend half our time watching TV or something. He doesn't care either. It doesn't feel like love. If it is, it's one sided. I doubt he actually loves me. I feel like he's forcing himself to. I know I am.
I hate it. I fucking hate it, so much. I feel like crying. I want to but I just can't muster it right now. I don't want to be an emotional mess for
Can some please tell me how to break up with him? How to break up with someone you've dated for awhile? I still kind of want to be friends....
Listening to: Owl cityyyyy >D
Watching: YOU >D
Playing: NOTHIN, FOOL
Eating: Cake which is a lie.
Drinking: Boston cooler *O* Good butterbiscuits. :'D